Competitive Surrey Schools Report

Competitive Surrey Schools Report brings you news and events from some of the finest Surrey schools and their most competitive pupils as the Summer Term draws to an end.

Update from Hillmont School – Latin Motto: Perdere Et Vincere

Business Studies Class: Last term, Year 7  pupils were tasked with developing a new App capable of generating £100k p.a. equivalent net profit by the end of June (any pupil falling short of this target being required to make up the shortfall from their personal monthly allowance). We are pleased to advise all parents that their competitive children excelled in this task, as we expected.

Chemistry Class: The Year 8 Alchemy Project delivered mixed results.  Gold was created artificially for the first time in human history, but disappointingly with production costs running at £2,300 per oz (£900 higher than the market trading price at the time of going to press), this ultimately proved not to be commercially viable. Must try harder Year 8!

Hillmont Private School
Hillmont Private School – Profitable

Update from Cranton College – Latin Motto: Naturalis Dominentur

Personal Development Round-up: 

Hughton Thraydor (Year 9) excelled this term as the ‘Most Morally Challenged Pupil’.  His exemplar essay on “Why the 99% should be enslaved for the benefit of the 1%” was judged to be ‘highly promising’ and provides major competition to the school’s incumbent morally-challenged essayist, James Masterson. We predict a bright and entitled future for Hughton as a rising star of the school’s immoral elite.

Cranton College – Dominant

Update from Hobson’s House School – Motto: Supra Omnes

Summer Term Field Trips are less extravagant than previous years arrangements and will include:

  • Year 10 – Natural Science trip to the Galapagos Islands
  • Year 11 – Mule Trekking in Machu-Pichu
  • Year 12 – Titanic Deep Sea Exploration

Overseas Education

Our co-educational partnership with African schools for Year 13 pupils, is providing both vital support for overseas children and valuable international business contacts for the parents of some students.

Fund raising is progressing well and £8000 for this project was secured recently from a special ‘Molecuganic Taster Evening’ held at Elmbridge Dining by Executive Chef, Standen Hastry.

All funds raised for will go towards our primary mission to ensure that our partner African schools each have their own Orangery by 2021.

Competitive Surrey Schools Report was compiled by Septimus Cartwright