Making your house look better on Google Earth

Your house should look perfect both inside and out, but have you considered the value of ensuring that it also looks its best on Google Earth?

As more people use search engines to scrutinise other people’s lives and their houses, it is becoming increasingly important for your own house to look its best from above as well as at street level. 

For those rich enough to maintain the perfect house and garden, this is of no concern, but for everyone else trying to keep-up, here are some helpful tips on the best way to achieve a perfect aerial view of your house and garden.

  1. Clean your conservatory (or ‘orangery’) roof windows for maximum shine in the sunlight.
  2. Sharpen the green stripes on your lawn. Pierre Verte Gardens will do this for a small fortune. Subservient Garden Services will alternatively do this for next to nothing if you hector them enough.
  3. In your back garden, lay a bright blue tarpaulin on the ground and surround this with paving slabs to provide (to a distant satellite) the appearance that you have an open-air swimming pool.
  4. Keep all of your plants in pots. This way you can re-arrange them every 6-12 months before the satellite captures a new image of your house and it will look like you are rich enough to re-design your garden regularly.
  5. If you have an ordinary family car, simply cover it with a tarpaulin and from above it will look like a precious and expensive sports car.
  6. Top houses have tennis courts. If you are fortunate enough to have your house next to a public tennis court, simply construct an extension of your own fence to surround the court, thus suggesting that you are the landed owner of a stylish leisure facility.

With these simple tips, your 3 bed semi-detached house will, from the air, look significantly better than your neighbours’ houses and the whole world will be able to see how great your house is and how well you’ve done.

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